Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Pleasant Day.

Today was a good day. A good friend of mine is visiting Baghdad for 3 nights so I got to meet up with him for lunch and we intend to knock a few back tonight and relive our 2 trips to Thailand. The great news is that he thinks he may be able to hook me up with a job in Kuwait! Yay! Now, ordinarily I deplore going to Kuwait as much as I deplore a lot of Kuwaitis but I really need a change of scenery and the Program Manager position will allow me to travel all over and still present a rewarding job.

Kuwait pretty much sucks. For 1 thing, it is dry. But anyone wanting a drink can get one, you just pay a high price to the cab driver and he will sort you out with some moonshine. I hope I don’t go blind. Anyway, when you leave Kuwait on a civilian plane as I have done twice now, you better order your drinks fast. No sooner than they get wheels up and start serving drinks do the Kuwaitis begin to devour any alcohol on the plane. Both times, all the alcohol on the plane was consumed within 1 hour. I asked the stewardess if they doubled up on the booze for flights out of Kuwait and she said no, they carry 4 times the regular load. And they still drink it up.

Anyway, they need to get over that no beer thing.

So the other reason Kuwait sucks is there are no nightclubs. There are no places for men and women to socialize. Basically you have to strike up conversation at the malls or in coffee shops, but even that can be difficult. You might as well forget about a Kuwaiti girl too. Many Saudis travel to Kuwait and there are some extremely hot Saudi chicks, but all they want to do is smile at you and then run away. They are very childish. Besides women in general are hard to handle, what with mood swings and all, but throw Islam into the mix and it is a recipe for disaster. Arab Muslim women are among the most beautiful I have seen on Earth. They have a nice skin color, beautiful eyes, jet black hair and curvaceous bodies. BUT, when they are Muslim you have a whole new set of problems that I don’t feel I need to list and the “no sex” thing is only 1 of them. So if you want a date you have to find a pinoy or Indian chick. They are also not that bad. I think Indian women are not generally thought of as that hot, but let me tell you, I have seen bunches of them are off the charts. Anyway.

Kuwait also sucks because of Kuwaitis. I am referring to Kuwaiti citizens, not residents. The residents are fine; it’s just those pompous citizens sucking off the oil money you have to watch out for. There are about 300,000 or so of the really wealthy ones and they are a handful. For example. If you are walking in a mall with 5 of your buddies and you notice you are all walking next to each other and that you are basically a moving roadblock for oncoming traffic, you will move so someone can pass by you, right, I do. Well these creepy bastards don’t. So I don’t either. I will ram right into them. I rammed one dude so hard his head robe fell off. I didn’t even turn around. We are the ones that liberated your towel headed country, you move. Another time I was at the Kuwait Hilton, nice place that I highly recommend BTW, at the Dairy Queen and this insolent little Kuwaiti girl kept trying to push me away from the counter. I finally shoved her aside and told her to stop stepping in front of me or I would smack her. They learn it from their arrogant parents. One thing about smacking. You can smack people in Kuwait and Dubai. A buddy of mine smacked some dude because he said the girl he was with was a whore. She wasn’t so he smacked him. When the police came, he told them what he said and they smacked him again and told him to leave. I just love that. You say or do something stupid in public and wham, you get a smack. It is even OK to smack other people’s children. If they are running around crazy and the parent isn’t there, it is A-OK to just smack them. The parents will actually thank you. If that little girl did one more thing to me she was going to get a real smack, right on the back of the head.

Also, the women wear full ninja gear all the time. They wear the really bad kind where the eyes are covered by mesh. If you see one of them behind the wheel of a moving car, move out of the way because they will crash into you. I don’t particularly dislike the women, but they really need to do something about that ninja suit thing. Look at our women, we said they couldn’t vote and they all withheld sex so now they can vote. Just kidding, but they really do need to sort that out. Till then I have no sympathy for them. When I was in Malaysia I saw a dude in a g-string euro trash swimsuit on a jet ski. He was out there having a great old time…with his ninja on the back of the jet ski! Out in the ocean with 40 pounds of cloth dumped on this chick and he is running around in a thong! I was so close to ramming him. Anyway, he must have been a moderate radical fanatic because he allowed her to swim. I saw her swimming at the pool the next day dressed in a full black body suit, black mask, black gloves, black boots and black sunglasses. She looked like Shamu in the pool. That is the other thing, she wasn’t even attractive. These self absorbed Muslim men need to grow some security. They have to be the most insecure, untrusting people on the planet to subject women to these things. What a joke.

Ok, that being said, I will still move there in a nano-second. The job is great and the benefits are great. I have it lined up with my buddy and 1 other dude there that if I secure the position that we are going to rent a nice 6 bedroom on the beach. (A room and an office for each of us) That is exactly what I need after being in this shit hole for so long. I can’t find a job in Thailand that pays a decent salary so I am just going to have to find a beach somewhere else. Thailand jobs are soooo bad (pay wise). I found a job that would require a Doctorate in the States and would pay well over 150K but in Bangkok, the pay was 3000 a month. Who can live on that, get real.

But there is 1 good thing about Kuwait that is awesome. It aint Baghdad.



Blogger BangYourHead said...

Glad to hear you've got something lined up that will get you out of the bunker.

On the other hand I was distressed to read your complaints regarding the lack of sexually available women.

Sounds as if you've cast aside your conservative principles in a quest for premarital sex.

The Good News is that the Christian Coalition has, in closed door session, acknowledged medical studies on the effects of abstinence on the prostrate, and quietly authorized single men over 21 to ejaculate once a month.

The preferred method is masturbation while reviewing your most recent bank statement. You can double your pleasure if you have 401k, and there are allowances for "charitable" trusts (not that you have to give any money away, mind you) and of course incorporation provides several more opportunities.

Coitus, however, is still reserved for married couples. Naturally you may have sex in the missionary style for purposes of procreation, but once the wife is pregnant you can pretty much hang it up for a year. Then of course it also acceptable while your wife reviews the bank statement, as well the 401k etc.

There are also several exceptions that provide additional opportunities for sexual relations:

1. You spend your inheritance (not that those pennypinchers you call family will ever leave you a dime) on a diamond bracelet, ring, etc., for the Queen of the Damned.

2. Or, you can buy her a sporty ride. Minivans don't count, SUVs are passe', and a Miata only barely clears the bar.

3. The preferred method of gaining a piece of the pie is in the afterglow of a hellfire and brimstone sermon extolling the depravity of pursuing pleasures of the flesh. This is also the best time to suggest a little something kinky like bondage, oral sex, or acting out that fantasy fetish you've been wanting to try.

Hopefully you'll take all this to heart, cleanse your soul, and start living anew.

Maybe even do the "right" thing and get hitched.

Your Bud, Oz

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 at 12:57:00 AM GMT+4  
Blogger Walt said...


Pretty funny post my friend. I hope for your sake that most of that was tongue in cheek. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter if you are married.

You did bring up an interesting point that I would like to take the time to address because I see it all the time.

So often, conservatives are lumped into the category of being Christians (religious, whatever). That is just not true. I am as conservative as the next guy, well maybe not you, but I haven’t seen the inside of a church in years. I am so totally not religious and so are many of my conservative friends.

Anyway, I looked at your pics again, nice.

As for my computer problems, I have upgraded all my virus software and spy ware killers. I have added all the Windows updates and I still have the problem.

When I am on blogger making a post, I click on the “add picture” icon. This pops up a new window where I search for and upload my picture. Then I click submit and wait for it to say done. When you click on “Done” it closes the window and your picture appears in your posts. Well that is not happening only on this computer. When I click “Done” the window closes, but it doesn’t load the picture on the other window.

It is strange. I am going to try FireFox to see if that helps.


Wednesday, July 26, 2006 at 3:03:00 PM GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

smacking others people children? harassing and abusing women in the malls? insulting and making fun of other people's national costume and calling them radical fanatic because u racist hate their religion? what an impudent stranger a$$!ppl like u r not welcome and u such cunts must be ban from entering our countries. and yes u dumb rednick did not liberate ANYTHING it was the cowards money sucker curropted politicians who let the terrorist warmania us and british troops to participate and kill iraqi civilians and kids and destoryed the envairument with their ugly subhuman concentrated uranium weapons. i know ur going to call me (trrorist)or (radical)what ever because this is not the comment u would like to hear u hater r so pathetic. :) hating ppl just coz they r not poor or have some money is no good .

Tuesday, September 5, 2006 at 7:27:00 PM GMT+4  

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