Questions
OK. I did not make this up. Some Marine in Iraq did, but I like his concept so I decided to steal it and give you my answers to the questions he posed to himself. I would give him credit by way of a link or something, but I don’t anything. I got the email by way of one of my many friends that send me everything in the world. He gave his answers and I just erasing them and giving you mine.
Worst Case of Déjà Vu – I had a major case of ground hog day and could have sworn that I had already lived this day before. I went to work in the morning seriously believing that I didn’t need to because I had already done it.
Most Surreal Moment – Running for cover during a multiple mortar strike and yelling at a girlfriend not to drop the 2 6-packs of beer.
Most Profound Man in Iraq – I can’t really answer that. He would be one of the many Iraqi friends I have made over the years that risk their lives to earn a living working with the coalition.
Worst City – I would say Fallujah but when I was there it wasn’t so bad. I have to go with Taji because that is the only place I have been really shot at. Baghdad would be a cliché answer.
Bravest Guy – I can’t name him, but an Iraqi that stood up to Moqtada Al Sadr and helped coalition forces in Najaf.
Second Bravest Guy – All the civilian truck drivers.
Best Piece of U.S. Gear – Hmmm, the Marine said he liked the body armor but I am going with the UH-60 Blackhawk. Man I love to fly rather than drive.
Best Piece of Bad Guy Gear – EFP. They devised the Explosive Formed Projectiles (read shape charged IEDs) that have inflicted serious damage on coalition forces.
Worst E-Mail Message – I got an email from a buddy telling me that the compound he was staying in has come under direct assault.
Biggest Surprise – Bumping into several soldiers that I had trained or had been the platoon leader of in a past life.
Greatest Vindication – Not letting some particularly unruly Iraqi assholes park in my parking lot. Also, I got to deny entry to the Green Zone to an American journalist that was giving the guards a world of shit.
Biggest Mystery – I can’t really think of one, sorry.
Second Biggest Mystery I can’t think of another, sorry.
Favorite Iraqi TV Show – I can’t remember the name but it is a huge hit. It is like the Arab version of MTV. They show videos of super hot Arabic chicks singing.
Coolest Insurgent Act – Some Iraqis get awarded US contracts then vanish with the start-up money. No way to find them and they made out like fat cats.
Most Memorable Scene – Ahh, so many. I have to go with the time I was sitting on the tarmac at the LZ under a camo net and 5 minutes after a rocket landed I saw glimpses of an Apache landing while popping flares.
Highest Unit Re-enlistment Rate - NA
Most Surprising Thing I Don't Miss – TV. I miss some shows, but by and large I am not too upset to not have many channels.
Worst Smell - Porta-johns in 120 degree heat - and that's 120 degrees outside of the porta-john. That is what the Marine wrote and I have to agree.
Highest Temperature – Around 140 in Baghdad, 150 in Dubai and 154 in Kuwait.
Biggest Hassle – Badges. You have to have a badge to do anything. Getting them is a pain in the ass. Hauling them around is a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, and getting to BIAP.
Biggest Outrage – The negative press about progress in Iraq.
Best Intel Work – Digging around in the abandoned zoo looking for tunnels into the Green Zone. I didn’t find any.
Saddest Moment – No answer.
Biggest Ass-Chewing – When I was at CPA a dickhead LTC showed up. The boss wasn’t around so I called another COL and asked him if he wanted a LTC (In Hillah). My intent was to get him shipped out to Hillah before the boss knew he had another man. Just as the convoy was about to depart with him, the boss found out and made him stay. I got my ass chewed by the COL for offering a LTC that wasn’t available, I got my ass chewed by the LTC for trying to get rid of him 5 minutes after he got here and it got chewed by my boss for the above mentioned reasons. He ended up being my assistant. Yes I said that correctly.
Best Chuck Norris Moment – A buddy of mine was being shaken down by the translator of an Army officer. A buddy covered me and I ran up and took his photo and told him he would be sorry if he ever came back. (Long story short)
Worst Sound – Explosions of any sort.
Second Worst Sound – Rockets going overhead.
Only Thing Better in Iraq Than in the U.S. – Hookhas.
Proudest Moment – Working the tally floor in the 05 elections guarding the ballots. The workers were able to vote and it was so joyful to watch them sing and dance when they all got the purple finger.
Happiest Moment – When a beloved family was allowed to move to the US. I will see him and his family soon.
Most Common Thought – How hot it is and whether or not I am ever going to get out of here.
So that is it. Here is a personal favorite picture. I took this at a dinner I attended.
Cheers,
Walt
Worst Case of Déjà Vu – I had a major case of ground hog day and could have sworn that I had already lived this day before. I went to work in the morning seriously believing that I didn’t need to because I had already done it.
Most Surreal Moment – Running for cover during a multiple mortar strike and yelling at a girlfriend not to drop the 2 6-packs of beer.
Most Profound Man in Iraq – I can’t really answer that. He would be one of the many Iraqi friends I have made over the years that risk their lives to earn a living working with the coalition.
Worst City – I would say Fallujah but when I was there it wasn’t so bad. I have to go with Taji because that is the only place I have been really shot at. Baghdad would be a cliché answer.
Bravest Guy – I can’t name him, but an Iraqi that stood up to Moqtada Al Sadr and helped coalition forces in Najaf.
Second Bravest Guy – All the civilian truck drivers.
Best Piece of U.S. Gear – Hmmm, the Marine said he liked the body armor but I am going with the UH-60 Blackhawk. Man I love to fly rather than drive.
Best Piece of Bad Guy Gear – EFP. They devised the Explosive Formed Projectiles (read shape charged IEDs) that have inflicted serious damage on coalition forces.
Worst E-Mail Message – I got an email from a buddy telling me that the compound he was staying in has come under direct assault.
Biggest Surprise – Bumping into several soldiers that I had trained or had been the platoon leader of in a past life.
Greatest Vindication – Not letting some particularly unruly Iraqi assholes park in my parking lot. Also, I got to deny entry to the Green Zone to an American journalist that was giving the guards a world of shit.
Biggest Mystery – I can’t really think of one, sorry.
Second Biggest Mystery I can’t think of another, sorry.
Favorite Iraqi TV Show – I can’t remember the name but it is a huge hit. It is like the Arab version of MTV. They show videos of super hot Arabic chicks singing.
Coolest Insurgent Act – Some Iraqis get awarded US contracts then vanish with the start-up money. No way to find them and they made out like fat cats.
Most Memorable Scene – Ahh, so many. I have to go with the time I was sitting on the tarmac at the LZ under a camo net and 5 minutes after a rocket landed I saw glimpses of an Apache landing while popping flares.
Highest Unit Re-enlistment Rate - NA
Most Surprising Thing I Don't Miss – TV. I miss some shows, but by and large I am not too upset to not have many channels.
Worst Smell - Porta-johns in 120 degree heat - and that's 120 degrees outside of the porta-john. That is what the Marine wrote and I have to agree.
Highest Temperature – Around 140 in Baghdad, 150 in Dubai and 154 in Kuwait.
Biggest Hassle – Badges. You have to have a badge to do anything. Getting them is a pain in the ass. Hauling them around is a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, and getting to BIAP.
Biggest Outrage – The negative press about progress in Iraq.
Best Intel Work – Digging around in the abandoned zoo looking for tunnels into the Green Zone. I didn’t find any.
Saddest Moment – No answer.
Biggest Ass-Chewing – When I was at CPA a dickhead LTC showed up. The boss wasn’t around so I called another COL and asked him if he wanted a LTC (In Hillah). My intent was to get him shipped out to Hillah before the boss knew he had another man. Just as the convoy was about to depart with him, the boss found out and made him stay. I got my ass chewed by the COL for offering a LTC that wasn’t available, I got my ass chewed by the LTC for trying to get rid of him 5 minutes after he got here and it got chewed by my boss for the above mentioned reasons. He ended up being my assistant. Yes I said that correctly.
Best Chuck Norris Moment – A buddy of mine was being shaken down by the translator of an Army officer. A buddy covered me and I ran up and took his photo and told him he would be sorry if he ever came back. (Long story short)
Worst Sound – Explosions of any sort.
Second Worst Sound – Rockets going overhead.
Only Thing Better in Iraq Than in the U.S. – Hookhas.
Proudest Moment – Working the tally floor in the 05 elections guarding the ballots. The workers were able to vote and it was so joyful to watch them sing and dance when they all got the purple finger.
Happiest Moment – When a beloved family was allowed to move to the US. I will see him and his family soon.
Most Common Thought – How hot it is and whether or not I am ever going to get out of here.
So that is it. Here is a personal favorite picture. I took this at a dinner I attended.
Cheers,
Walt
posted by Walt at 10:23 PM
3 Comments:
This post was proof that spell check only goes so far.
Cheers,
Walt
Only Thing Better in Iraq Than in the U.S. – Hookhas.
Nah, we've got some sweet hookahs here. Believe me.
And this one made me laugh....
"I got to deny entry to the Green Zone to an American journalist that was giving the guards a world of shit."
Yeah!!!
Hang in there.
VR,
Less than 6 days now. I still do not know how I am leaving but I am leaving.
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